All Praise Dateline NBC

The beauty of a well-placed sarcastic quip is that you can insult someone to their face, and leave them walking away laughing and admiring how brilliantly witty you are.

I'm not tooting my own horn, either. It's real. It happens.

Thankfully I don't live in a desert because I honestly think I would die, but during the summertime it gets a little toasty. Thus far, we've never gotten about the mid-80's here but when you don't have AC in your apartment and the sun beats on your living room windows for 4 straight hours in the afternoon, it can still get a little toasty. Maybe it's just the placebo affect or maybe there's some scientific reasoning behind it (I don't know, I don't understand science), but there are some hours of early evening where it is more cool outside of the apartment than inside. We have a nice little front porch and our next-door neighbors have a few camping chairs set out on our shared porch that they say we can use, so I've been taking my homework and doing it outside.

Last night, I was doing just that. I was reading an article on my laptop and enjoying the summer-ish night air when I heard a guy's voice "Hey little girl!!"

Now, if you're anything like my twisted mind (if so, heaven help you I am so sorry), you may have read that in a growling, partially demonic, but all parts creepy kind of voice. It wasn't creepy, it was actually borderline friendly.

It was a guy that I knew that lived in my apartment complex. We've talked a few times but I don't know if I'd necessarily consider us 'friends', you know? He was just riding by on his long-board and evidently that was how he had chosen to greet me.

"Dateline NBC says not to respond to things like that; that's how girls end up brutally murdered".

The guy fell off his long-board laughing.

Essentially, I just called this guy a pedophile/pervert/molester combined with a rapist and murderer.

I didn't smile. I didn't look up from my laptop. It was complete deadpan, but I'm glad that he chose to find humor in it.

Men: please don't call any female "little girl". Ever. It's weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm short and only 5'2. But that's just weird. A simple 'hello', 'hey', 'howdy', 'greetings earthing'...anything is better than 'hey little girl'.

And as for me... is it any wonder that I'm still single?

Ta ta for now, boogers

Syd

Snot Changed My Life

"Make no small plans. They have no power to stir men's souls to greatness."

Hello. My name is Syd. Big town girl who moved to a small town for school. Hopelessly in love with this small town atmosphere--at least for this stage of life.

I've always been a storyteller. From the time I could talk, I was making up stories for my dollhouse people and my Barbies. I loved movies. I loved magic. I loved movie magic. I still do. By the time first grade rolled around, I was geeking out and reading several grade levels above my peers. This is what happens when weirdos procreate, people. Geeks who breed with geeks beget geeky children. I got the geeky gene passed down on both sides of the family tree. It was unavoidable.

At a family dinner, my grandma and aunts were trying to convince me, Syd as a six year old, to try the Harry Potter books. The first book was just barely beginning to catch onto mainstream pop culture in the United States, and as elementary school schoolteachers, both grandma and my aunt were experiencing first-hand the affect the Harry Potter books were having on children's attitudes about reading. And in a moment of early onset rebellion, I announced that I never ever wanted to read these Harry Potter books because they sounded stupid. These were the women who were also encouraging me to eat my vegetables--obviously their opinions were blatantly wrong.

I wish I could remember the timeframe between that conversation and what happened next. But, it was over 15 years ago...

Dad went out of town on a business trip and, being the oldest child, it was my privilege to have a sleepover with Mom in her bed while Dad was gone. Mom and I climbed into bed, turning on lamps on the nightstand and reading until we got tired. I distinctly remember that I was reading an 'American Girl' book and it was boring me to tears. I would guess that would mean it was either a Molly or Kristen story, because they were my least favorite of the American Girls. But either way, my book wasn't holding my story so I set it down, curled up underneath the covers, and asked my Mom to read me some of what she was reading.

 He bent down and pulled his want out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
“Urgh - troll boogers.”
He wiped it on the troll’s trousers.

That was it. That was all that it took. I erupted into a fit of giggles and I felt myself falling in love for the very first time. I was hooked. Adult books were supposed to be boring. Grown-ups were boring. They didn't do anything fun and they definitely couldn't read about anything fun. The idea of a grown-up book including a joke about boogers was mind boggling to me. After that, I wanted to find out what happened to the awkward boy who got troll boogers on his wand. I started reading the books and just the knowledge that there was a scene about troll boogers was enough to hold my attention and keep me reading through all of the boredom about Mr. Vernon's day at the drill company (Honestly, the first few pages of Sorcerer's Stone are a bit dry).

I fell in love with the written word because of troll boogers. I became a nerd, a geek, a dork, and a goober because of troll boogers. It's weird to credit the slimy snot of a mythical creature as a catalyst for basically the rest of my life, but I am a weird person. That's how it is.

I'm a NerdFighter. I'm a college student. I'm a reader and a writer. I'm a daughter, sister, niece, and granddaughter. I'm religious and relatively conservative. I am passionately involved with volunteering in the special needs community. I'm allergic to cats and adore dogs. I'm an alumni of the Disney College Program and loved every moment of it.  I'm a Child Development major and a nanny by trade. Nothing is better than having a long day at work consist of PlayDoughs, picnics, and Pooh Bear. A few years ago, I would've defined myself a sexual assault victim. It's still a part of my story, but it's no longer a part of my definition. I also struggle with depression. I'm a hopeless romantic, but have my fears regarding marriage and commitment. I'm not a child of divorce but I am a child of a loveless marriage, and it's my personal opinion that I think it's worse this way.

I am embracing the quirky, socially awkward, and unrefined parts of my soul and I'm being honest about them. And that's terrifying, yet thrilling. Because if I have this many different bits of myself that I don't display on a regular basis, then other people do too.

I'm at that point in life where I'm deciding that I'm quite tired of postponing my goals, hopes, and ambitions. I want to act on these things NOW. I want to have daring adventures--literally and figuratively. I don't want to settle for a mediocre existence: I want to suck the marrow right out of life. That love for storytelling that I had a child? It hasn't faded away. Honestly, I thought the drudgery of adulthood would extinguish that flame but it hasn't. I've never felt more strongly the desire to want to write.

Thus far, my life has been full of small, temporary, unambitious plans. But that's not enough for me anymore. I want my soul to be stirred to greatness, and in so doing, I want to stir the souls of others to be great. I'll be honest, I'm not sure if I know what my own personal greatness is. I think the definition of 'greatness' is fluid and is individual to each of us. But I want to find it.

So let's be friends. Let's talk about the trips we wank to take or have taken. Let's share book ideas and make progress on manuscripts together. Let's groan about schoolwork but relish in how blessed we are to get an education. Let's talk life philosophies and hardships and everything else under the sun.

This is my booger-lovin' corner of the Internet, and I plan to use it.

Ta ta for now, boogers.

Syd