The beauty of a well-placed sarcastic quip is that you can insult someone to their face, and leave them walking away laughing and admiring how brilliantly witty you are.
I'm not tooting my own horn, either. It's real. It happens.
Thankfully I don't live in a desert because I honestly think I would die, but during the summertime it gets a little toasty. Thus far, we've never gotten about the mid-80's here but when you don't have AC in your apartment and the sun beats on your living room windows for 4 straight hours in the afternoon, it can still get a little toasty. Maybe it's just the placebo affect or maybe there's some scientific reasoning behind it (I don't know, I don't understand science), but there are some hours of early evening where it is more cool outside of the apartment than inside. We have a nice little front porch and our next-door neighbors have a few camping chairs set out on our shared porch that they say we can use, so I've been taking my homework and doing it outside.
Last night, I was doing just that. I was reading an article on my laptop and enjoying the summer-ish night air when I heard a guy's voice "Hey little girl!!"
Now, if you're anything like my twisted mind (if so, heaven help you I am so sorry), you may have read that in a growling, partially demonic, but all parts creepy kind of voice. It wasn't creepy, it was actually borderline friendly.
It was a guy that I knew that lived in my apartment complex. We've talked a few times but I don't know if I'd necessarily consider us 'friends', you know? He was just riding by on his long-board and evidently that was how he had chosen to greet me.
"Dateline NBC says not to respond to things like that; that's how girls end up brutally murdered".
The guy fell off his long-board laughing.
Essentially, I just called this guy a pedophile/pervert/molester combined with a rapist and murderer.
I didn't smile. I didn't look up from my laptop. It was complete deadpan, but I'm glad that he chose to find humor in it.
Men: please don't call any female "little girl". Ever. It's weird. Don't get me wrong, I'm short and only 5'2. But that's just weird. A simple 'hello', 'hey', 'howdy', 'greetings earthing'...anything is better than 'hey little girl'.
And as for me... is it any wonder that I'm still single?
Ta ta for now, boogers
Syd
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